Learned Helplessness

Understanding the Loss of Our Belief in What We Control

In our modern world of wealth and privilege, we have created a world where things are just easier and more accessible. This isn’t necessarily bad or terrible. I mean, who wants to go back to washing clothes by hand in a wash bucket? It was truly an ALL-DAY adventure, and it sounds like the last thing I would want to endure.

Learned Helplessness is not talking about modern innovations, although some would say they can and do contribute to learned helplessness mentality in some respects. Learned Helplessness is a mental condition and a key component of Positive Psychology, a model I use in my professional practice.

Learned helplessness is a concept developed by Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology. It is the thought that people begin to perceive themselves as having a ‘lack of control’ after repeated exposure to uncontrollable and adverse events. This feeling then results in severe levels of depression and hopelessness about themselves.

An example would be a student who studies hard for exams but consistently gets mediocre or bad grades. They may then perceive that it doesn’t matter how hard they study, they won’t be able to achieve good grades, and thus, they stop studying. This then ensures they will obtain failing grades, but they feel the issues are out of their own control.

Another example, which hits me closer to home, is those who make poor decisions in their interactions with people, receive hurtful consequences, and then blame it all on their diagnosis. This is not to say people without a diagnosis can’t be assholes or aren’t ever in the wrong; however, I see a lot of people saying their bad behaviors are due to their diagnosis.

And as relatives of those who stop trying to improve, we are awful at enabling. So many people don’t want to ‘start’ something or upset someone with challenges. What we’re telling them, in our lack of confrontation, is that they’re right. They can’t do anything about it, so they might as well not try. Many people bank on it!

What is sad about all of this is that we’re creating a world of helpless people. We are allowing people to believe they have no control over things they DO control, mainly themselves. Please don’t think this is a modern era issue. This has been happening since the beginning of time.

There are many groups who use this type of thinking on the vulnerable masses and HOPE those masses don’t understand their own strengths. I would even say it’s being used on our population right now with the current administration. If they make it tough for people to attend college and lead them to believe they don’t need it, people will give up. I hear it in the youth all the time.

Now, in the 2000s, the CIA decided to use learned helplessness in the ‘wrong’ way. It was horrible. They used it as a weapon against prisoners in Guantanamo Bay: Human Rights Workshop: Guantanamo Litigator on Lawyering in a Lawless Space | Yale Law School

When I heard about this, I was pissed! I did some research and found that Martin Seligman, the father of the concept, was mortified: The Hoffman report, the Central Intelligence Agency, and the defense of the nation: A personal view — Martin Seligman, 2018. This concept was created for the model of Positive Psychology. The name of the model alone should make one understand it is to be used as a means toward strength, NOT torture or negative means.

The importance of understanding Learned Helplessness lies in understanding how an individual can lose their sense of strength and resilience. It is to be used as a means of returning that individual’s strength and focus back to them, so they understand their own abilities.

Luckily, our government finally got it right and has been using the model to help our military personnel in various stages of service: Ten Years of Military Positive Psychology | Psychology Today. Due to this strong evidence-based model, it is increasingly and successfully used to treat our military personnel with PTSD. Response Styles to Positive Affect During a Positive Psychology Intervention for Veterans With PTSD and Moral Injury: Preliminary Results From a Moral Elevation Intervention Pilot Trial | Request PDF

Going a little further into the state of Learned Helplessness, we can say that there are 3 components of the diagnosis:

1. Passivity — Reduced motivation to initiate voluntary responses. Basically, it means you have less of a drive or desire to do things on your own.

2. Cognitive Deficits — Difficulty learning that responses do produce outcomes. This means you have trouble understanding that your actions can make things happen. If they suddenly do, you ignore it or make an excuse that it wasn’t you.

3. Emotional Disturbance — Initially, this comes out as anxiety, but then depression.

These core components then lend to a feeling of hopelessness and low self-esteem. Depression, in and of itself, can be very debilitating.

Having discussed all of this, I need to say, I would not advise anyone without a mental health degree to diagnose or start pointing out learned helplessness in their friends and relatives directly. While, like many other diagnoses, we can possibly see the symptoms in others, it is vital that a professional handles the treatment of a severely depressed or anxious individual.

What then can we do if we see it in someone we love? I spoke about how we ‘enable’ it above, and the paragraph that precedes this one seems counterintuitive. I know, I know. If you read enough of my material, you understand that I firmly believe “Life is a balance and nothing is black or white.”

My suggestions are these:

1. When you can, don’t enable Learned Helplessness thinking by agreeing with the individual. You CAN validate their emotions, but not their beliefs or actions. For example, you can say, “I understand you feel that way, and I am sorry you are struggling.”

2. Don’t be afraid of the response of the person with Learned Helplessness, even if it creates an argument. If you are being as kind as possible, but they are mad because you don’t “AGREE” with them, it’s ok. Let them be mad. Don’t add to their anger by continuing to argue, but allow them their emotions and don’t take it personally. Sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better. Sometimes, people have to hear the truth many times before they take steps towards improvement.

3. Encourage counseling! I can’t say this enough.

The steps we take in counseling are cognitive therapy targets, including creating genuine experiences of control, attributional retraining to develop more accurate explanatory styles, agency-restoring environments, and learning about supportive relationships.

I do an additional step of meeting with or being a mediator in a meeting with family members to restore supportive relationships, answer questions from family members, and let them know what may be helpful and what may be damaging.

I hope this article has been interesting and maybe has had you reflect on your own times of learned helplessness. Believe me, we ALL have it, but don’t necessarily become severely depressed. Don’t get me started with my sugar intake… just sayin’.

I appreciate you all taking the time to read my articles. Please let me know if you have any questions in the messages and comments. I appreciate you all and hope everyone sees, feels, and understands the strengths inside themselves!

Namaste, my friends.